The Anticipation Almost Held Me Back

Have you ever done something that scared you? You know, left your comfort zone and did something that you didn’t totally feel comfortable doing?

If you said yes, how did it make you feel? Was it actually as scary as you thought it would be? Or maybe was it just the anticipation and the fear of the unknown that held you back?

I'm scared of the ocean.

I'm scared of the creatures that live there. I'm scared of how strong and mysterious it is. I'm scared to think of the number of human lives the ocean has taken.

In February of 2020, we went on vacation to Curacao (sounds like “cure-a-sow”) for 10 days and then spent 3 days in Aruba. To be honest, I wasn't super excited about it. I was definitely excited to go on vacation with my friends but I wasn't thrilled about the ocean.

The last time we vacationed near the ocean was in Costa Rica in January 2017. Joel (my husband) got caught in a riptide which led to me getting caught in it. Long story short, we felt how strong the water is and how quickly it can take you away.

This time, I wanted to go somewhere where I wasn't terrified of my surroundings and where there might be fewer jellyfish. I planned to spend a lot of time in Curacao sitting on the beach.

But something about that clear blue water in Curacao had me hooked, lined, and sinkered.

You need to understand, I'm the person who never wanted to snorkel and see colorful fish because well, I was scared of the fish.

Maybe it's because I was armed with a GoPro this time around but I had a change of heart. I actually loved floating and snorkeling in that salty water!

I even snorkeled with turtles!

But there's more...

I SCUBA DIVED.

And I almost didn't do it.

I freaked myself out and overthought it.

What if my mask comes off? What if the respirator comes out of my mouth? What if my blood vessels explode because my body can't take the pressure?

Luckily, we were on vacation for long enough that I could change my mind later in the week.

I went to the intro to diving class by myself. I was nervous and excited! I couldn't fathom what I would be experiencing since I had never done anything like it before.

There were a father and his two sons that were also in my group when I got there so it was just the four of us. But once we got in the water, the one kid couldn't equalize (aka pop) his ears so all three of them had to quit.

That left just me, the instructor, and the photographer.

I got my own personal diving lesson!

And guess what?

IT. WAS. AWESOME.

I liked it more than snorkeling! There is an incredible world at the bottom of all that water. Everything was so colorful and active. You could see the full ecosystem at work.

The coolest part, besides the sleeping turtle (picture below!), was that my goggles got water in them a couple of times, and, with my instructor watching, I successfully emptied them. That's what I was most afraid to have to do but once we were thirty feet down, it didn't seem as scary!

You just lift the goggles enough so you have some space at the bottom and blow out your nose really hard and wallah -- dry goggles! It was a cinch.

And to think, I almost didn't go through with it because I thought that I might get water in my goggles.

Overthinking things can be so debilitating if we let it get that far.

I'm also not a fan of flying. Every time we book a vacation, I have nightmares of planes crashing and I complain to Joel that I regret booking the trip because the thought of flying is just too much.

But it's only the anticipation that's scary.

I actually kind of enjoy flying once we are in the air.

When has the anticipation of something you weren’t sure of almost held you back from an awesome experience? Is there something you're not doing or a trip you’re not taking because something about it terrifies you?

Really think about it. What’s holding you back?

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